June 17, 2016

on personal note - Life Lately #23

I've been away for half and a year now and i am dismayed by how sloppy I have been with this blog. life is an unpredictable round of wheels, sometimes i can't keep up. my personal counselor suggested me to go back and write because it's a way to release my emotions, so here i am typing and trying. and updating.

we have gone through a hundred and sixty-six days - two thousand of sixteen.

i often felt like nothing is significant. uncertainty is so haunting. if there is a living globe, i can't really pinpoint where i am right now because it keeps on spinning and spinning and spinning. i felt dizzy. i learned to be patient, and be still.

i manage to start eating cleaner, healthier foods. more plant-based, less meaty. fruits are my everyday munch. and also, slowly enforce my feet to walk-jog-run 5k. be familiar again with lunges, dips, squats, and their friends.  getting used to feeling sore after working out, barely walk down the stairs or stretch my hands to tie my hair. bought new workout gear.

my very first bazaar. a month of lack of sleep, countless visits to a print shop, balloons of emotions from excitement to pessimism to tranquility. all went well by grace, favors, and miracles.

i learned in a bigger, wider perspective of how to be a good friend. to love with the love of God despite the differences in principles and values. to love beyond the immensity of the sea.

i am upset that i let my self did the wrongdoings, spent time on my bed hugging my boaster alone. i saw intimacy dissolves before my very eyes and heart. i drank a lot and lots of water and obsessed with stripes t's.

i loved someone wholeheartedly and failed beautifully. 

trying to understand where am i going with my creative soul. thankful for every commissions and project. sailing this journey with faith, keep reminding my heart that adventure is not an adventure if we knew everything in advance.

all in all, these past half a year left me to believe what anatole france once said, "in art as in love, instinct is enough."

also trying to live out the corinthians;
"for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 corinthians 4:17

for the rest of the year, i think i can handle it just fine :>

until i write again. x
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